In our perfectly curated, edited, and calculated world, it is becoming increasingly rare to put ourselves out there, flaws and all, discussing ourselves, being personal with strangers, with nothing to endorse except keeping that space alive where voices can be heard. Last fall, we shared translated excerpts from Damien Testu’s debut fanzine Coeur météore, he recently followed it up with Coeur de lune, which is an extension in many ways with nine new poems and new imagery by Bérangère Portella. No matter your age, sex, sexuality, marital status, or any status, something is alluring in Damien’s poems, reminding us that we share the human experience, no matter how it presents itself, and sometimes through other people’s words, we start to find our own. On a sunny Paris day, we caught up with Damien for a little chat in a park, because talking poetry on a sunny day in Paris on a weekday feels more than right.
We both love paper, and you just released your second fanzine Coeur de lune. First of all, I want to know what are you a fan of?
So many things! Pop culture and music are at the forefront for me. My dad is a rock music fan, my mom listens to loads of French songs, so obviously I’m a combination of both. But I love pop music, the first person I fell in love with was Britney, and everything followed from there.
What was it about Britney?
In a nutshell, I think she was just representing something that was so aspirational for me. I come from a small town, and just seeing someone on stage, giving her all, doing everything she loved, and singing, dancing, performing, it was beautiful. From the music to the performances to the visual aspect of it, I was just so in awe of it. I thought to myself, I want to do that, I aspired to be someone who can express themselves creatively like that.
When did you start expressing yourself creatively and with your first fanzine, Coeur météore, to use poetry as an outlet?
I remember when I was like six or seven years old, writing little poems and little songs in my notebooks, reading them, seeing them badly, but nonetheless. Writing has always been a lifeline for me. With the fanzine, I wanted to create a visual object, obviously it’s my writing, but it just felt like the closest thing to an album. It doesn’t have to be a big book, it can be like cute and short and sweet and just like thoughts on a page and maybe easier to digest for people, so that’s why I chose that outlet. I wanted something that people could have at home and cherish in some way.
What was the feedback with your first zine, and what made you decide to do your follow-up?
The first was a labor of love, a six-month project because I got the idea in August and then released it in December. It’s like a child in the sense that you know when it’s the first one, you’re really stressed out and want to make sure everything’s perfect. I got really lucky because I got to work with Olivia Ghalioungui, Marvin Martins, and my friend Steven helped me with the layout and did all of the creative direction for the first one. The response was great, I printed a hundred, it sold out in three months, and was selected in the poetry category for the Prix du Roman Gay 2025. When you do a project like this, it’s for yourself. It’s always nice to have some sort of validation and to see responses from people like texting me their favorite poems or telling me this resonated with me, or like this picture, I love this energy, this aesthetic, or reminding me of this and that. Originally, the plan was since it was so based on music the first one was sort of like a vinyl that you could like, flip with side A and side B. I wanted to continue with that for the second one and do like a deluxe version. It’s easier to understand where I’m coming from and to see the story unfold with the second one. I did get a bad critique though from the first one, but the website closed.
What did they say?
That it was not real poetry. And I thought: you know, they said that Britney wasn’t a real singer, right? I took it hard at first, I mean, I’m talking about it, so obviously, it had an impact on me. I felt really shitty because they said stuff like there’s an “S” missing in this poem, and it’s not real poetry, and like, oh, the pictures are nice, but he’s writing like a teenager… Thinking back, actually, this person made me miss the point because I never really shied away from having this sort of teenage DIY influence on my work. I like the very colorful and sometimes naive writing. I love that, and I enjoy that, and I don’t think it’s a flaw. I can just say thank you to that critic because it genuinely helped me.
What are you most proud of with your two fanzines?
I’m very proud to have the guts to express myself creatively like that. It’s a self-funded project, I’m not doing it for the money, and there’s no brand involved. I’m doing this on my own on my terms because I love to create things. I love the freedom of expressing myself. A lot of people will say that it’s a vanity project, but it’s not, it’s more of I wanted to create something that maybe some people could relate to. I wanted them to understand that it’s okay to be vulnerable and put yourself out there, and you can also have fun with it. It doesn’t have to be a heavy thing, like in the poems where I talk about death, mental health, eating disorders, and personal stuff. But I’m not doing it in a way that feels heavy, I’m doing it in a way that feels pop. And so I’m really proud of that mix. I’m also really proud of the people that I got to work with because it really was a team effort. And there’s nothing like working on a project.
This project allowed me to start talking to other queer writers, and I think it’s so beautiful because there’s such a strong sense of community, like we send each other our books and projects, and we sort of like swap them and they were, like, oh, I love this one, here are my notes, and, and then we sort of like started forming this these relationships I feel there’s a wave of queer writers, queer artists, queer activists, and it’s really nice to be part of that.
Do you feel like it’s very different from your fashion community because you’ve been active in fashion for so many years as a stylist, PR, and journalist?
It’s different because writing is honest; you don’t put yourself out there in the same way. When I work in fashion, it’s not about me as a subject; it’s about fashion. What I like is it’s sort of a team effort first and foremost, and you’re not the most important person in the project. When it’s a personal project, you put yourself out there in a different way, especially through writing, because the way that I view writing is that it’s very therapeutic and helps me make sense of personal stuff. I also enjoy fashion friends or people that I met through the fashion industry. When you’re creative, you want people to look at your work but you also want people to get it, understand it, and feel seen.
It’s Pride Month. What are you looking forward to most, especially?
Supporting other queer artists, whether it’s music, poetry, or visual arts. I think it’s super important to highlight them, there’s a lot of queer artists on my playlists right now. I love Tom Aspaul, Garnement, Renee Rapp and I love her song Leave Me Alone.
I’m looking forward to celebrating, but not just celebrating, I think Pride month is also remembering people we’ve lost in our community. People who fought first people still fight first and are denied opportunities. I’m thinking of my trans friends because they are definitely the ones going through it right now, and I think it’s important to highlight that. I’m very privileged. To be able to express myself and also have the means and resources to do it. Not all poor people and all queer artists have that. If you have queer artists who are activists and if you know them or if you want to support them, just buy their shit, buy their shirts, stream their music, go to their events, support them, like their content, follow them because it’s really important. It’s a tough world out there, and I just want everybody to try and find a ray of light in all of our darkness and do things that make us happy.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
disenchanted ramblings
desperate divergent
i look for their outstretched hands
to lift me to the sky
back turned, head bowed
blank stare and feet anchored
in the ground, isolated
in the water of flowers,
i console myself
what’s wrong
with me?
I KNOW
i know,
i manage my time very badly
i arrive late often
and not out of disrespect
yes,
i turn down the TV when
the volume is too high
i systematically remove
the coriander leaves
yes,
i can be mushy
and so can my poems
it’s a trance, a fever
or a melancholy
yes,
i run away from my responsibilities
i’m afraid of conflict
and prefer not to say anything
yes,
i also lie to you
so as not to hurt you
and sometimes it’s the other way around
i tell the truth too loudly
and it misfires
yes,
i often like to receive
messages from you
to know that you’re thinking of me
co-dependence i think
but i know
you know
ALMOST
“i almost looked at you”
“i almost kissed you”
“i almost longed for you”
— the one you almost want for yourself
i’m working on my aura
it’s definite
i won’t write
about you again
red lights, sore eyes
i’ve forgotten
the headlights, the fires
dancing over there
until i
succumb
until i
stumble upon
another version of you
i’m working on my aura
Copies available HERE
