The fashion system is not going through a bed of roses, the hubbub around its rearrangement, or the refresh as called by the optimistic ones, is such that many feel generously dizzy. ‘See now, buy now’ to start, a strategy that, as far as I’m concerned, I would define stupid even if I were in a confusional state after a concussion. In a second mo, the genius strikes again: Why don’t we unify women and men’s wear? and I was like ‘gimme my Prozac!’ I don’t have any problem with gender but what’s next? Runways for mutant strains? Jeez, it’s a Fashion Week not the Hunger Games!

On the verge of kicking off tomorrow, the 5-day Men’s Milan Fashion Week sees the back of a barrelful of designers who did bail out the carousel of fashion shows. Ciao Ciao to Costume National- the nth brand stripped of its Italianity falling into the hands of Japanese fund Sedquedge -, Calvin Klein, Roberto Cavalli, Ermenegildo Zegna, Bottega Veneta, N°21, Lucio Vanotti- flown to Pitti, Antonio Marras, Brioni and Corneliani. But, in the hurly-burly of the who’s-in-and-who’s-out, there are new roaring brands on the block. Thanks to the meritorious support of Camera Nazionale della Moda Italiana, Italian Sunnei, Malaysian Moto Guo, Chinese Jun Li and Australian Strateas Carlucci will have the chance to shine the coming days.

The Fashion Week is the period of the year in which designers are four-fifth fool and one-fifth too-fool, press agents…well, press agents- that’s a draw-a-veil-over-that-and-pretend-they-do-not-exist situation, bloggers and influencers are all psyched up, smooth and shine like Tucker Torpedoes prepped for photographers’ dazzling flashes and we, journalists, are seen as belonging to some obscure Evil Force Squad- everyone thinks our task is to tear designers apart!- and become the target of any sort of ambush or abduction—the Shut-The-Press-Up game is the equivalent of Christmas’ tombola on these specific days-. Anyway, I’ll be on the qui vive!

If you work in fashion, you’re well aware to be psychologically unstable during the fashion months- I hope not to wound the pride of my colleagues who have a real flair for concealing a lot of stress and strain underneath a fake smile- as wide as Julia Roberts’- and a spit-and-polish styling-; contrary, I’m a 24/7 blues-and-tee Psycho in broad daylight and my instability is not limited to fashion weeks!

When it comes to spring/summer collections there’s always a big issue: falling expectations. Many a time it seems designers are bankrupt of ideas and lapse into banality and poor taste- you know, fuckboys’ Peppa-pink tank tops, flowery shorts, short-sleeved shirts with applications and other summer gears dolorous as menstrual cramps!- I’ve never experienced that kind of thing but there’s a lot of pain I suppose!

Anyway, the waiting time to discover what’s dessous des cartes is running out!