“Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?” — Celine, Before Sunrise
The majority of us will be spending Valentines at home and most likely socially distancing. What do you watch when you have watched everything on your list this past year? Every year I have a date night movie to celebrate the holiday. Time to tick off some films that you might not have added to your list just in time for Valentine’s Day.
Whether you are a hater, a swipe dater, or a hopeless romantic, there is a movie for you. We have divided our picks by relationship status to help you out a bit. So get some tissues, a blanket, popcorn, or a glass of wine!
Committed Relationship:
The Before Trilogy: Before Sunrise, 1995; Before Sunset, 2004; and Before Midnight, 2013
The end of each film only feels like the beginning. Relationships stretch out over time and evolve, and I can’t think of another film that captures this and the complexities and being and staying together.
Django Unchained, 2012
Who walked into the cinema expecting such a deeply romantic film? It will make you look at your partner wondering if they would do the same for you. It’s impossible not to draw comparisons to Richard Wagner’s Ring cycle and Siegfried in particular.
Max, Mon Amour, 1986
I asked my French partner for a French romance and he reminded me of that one time “you made me watch that film with the woman having an affair with an ape.” Once you are in a committed relationship, you can get your partner to watch pretty much whatever you want if it avoids an argument.
Only Lovers Left Behind, 2013
This is the anti-Twilight, never have I seen such a beautiful vampire film, but the settings from Tangiers to Detroit to something we don’t see often in film. To this day the soundtrack featuring Dutch lute player Jozef van Wissem is one of my favorites.
Honorable Mentions: The Big Sick, 2017; Die Hard, 1998; Loving, 2016; Secretary, 2002; True Lies, 1994
Love against All Odds:
But I’m a Cheerleader, 1999
Imagine going to a conversion therapy camp only to fall in love. This was a slumber party essential at the time it came out, and I still watch it as my go-to romantic comedy, satire at its best. Get ready for RuPaul to teach you how to be straight!
The Incredible Jessica James, 2017
I watched this on Netflix without having heard of it and loved it. It’s not really about a couple against all odds, but more of a creative at odds with mapping out her future in a post-relationship world, and of course when you are being all independent and loving yourself, it’s exactly when you least expect to meet someone.
Harold and Maude, 1971
It’s hard to sum up Harold and Maude, except it’s one of those films you see and stays with you. It’s not often you find yourself on Valentine’s asking existentialist questions. The Cat Stevens soundtrack will also help you answer why so many of our parents listen to him.
Love, Simon, 2018
This film has so many echoes of a Gen Z John Hughes film. Every now and then a romantic teen comedy comes out that you know will last the test of time, this is one of them. There is also something cathartic to watching the film, you want that happy ending.
Honorable Mentions: Brokeback Mountain, 2005; Edward Scissorhands, 1990; Lord of the Rings, 2001; Portrait of a Lady on Fire, 2019; Romeo + Juliet, 1996; Splash, 1984; Twin Falls Idaho, 1999
Dating:
Call Me by Your Name, 2017
James Ivory wins awards for his romantic screenplays, but Call Me by Your Name is by far my favorite. It has everything of a summer romance and the chemistry feels so natural. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking but also filled with joy.
Love, 2015
I actually saw this on Valentine’s date in a tiny cinema in Paris in 3-D. I’ll admit, my date, the critics, and everyone in the cinema hated it, but I literally cried all throughout the film. It summed up so many emotions and thoughts about the choices we have to make and if we make the right ones, it hit me so hard with everything I was going through at the moment.
Moonlight, 2016
I cried all throughout this film too. It is emotionally striking like I didn’t expect. It’s an amazing character study, which let’s face it, we are all doing character studies on a date. All I can say is, if your date didn’t feel anything, you’re probably with the wrong person. And everyone needs a hug after watching this.
True Romance, 1993
This is the ultimate road trip film! It literally has everything: humor, action, sex, and a great cast. The film is far from being woke, and there are times when it feels quite outdated, but overall, it has become a cult classic.
Honorable Mentions: Clueless, 1985; God’s Own Country, 2017; Malcolm and Marie, 2021; Natural Born Killers, 1994; Queen& Slim, 2019; Twin Falls Idaho, 1999
Social Media Stalker:
The Piano Teacher, 2001
I can always relate to a certain extinct where characters go a bit psycho in a relationship, but in movies, it’s usually ridiculous and over the top. The Piano Teachers unfolds much like a relationship, she brings along baggage that she never dealt with such as loneness and sexual repression, but it’s the voyeurism that is the unpleasant side in so many of us.
The Dreamers, 2003
This is where I first fell for the beautiful young Louis Garrel, if social media existed at the time, I probably would be liking everything with him. There is a real utopian love here set against the 1968 Paris Student Riots, but it’s the erotic triangle that challenges your own sexual free spirit.
Wild at Heart, 1990
There was a time when Nicolas Cage was the romantic lead you weren’t supposed to run off with (Moonstruck, Peggy Sue Got Married, Raising Arizona). This is how David Lynch does romances, so you just need to be up for the ride.
Honorable Mentions: Audition, 1999; Blue Velvet, 1986; Dead Ringers, 1988; Eyes Wide Shut, 1999; The Favourite, 2018; My Best Friend’s Wedding, 1997
Breaking Up:
2046, 2004
Wong Kar-Wai’s follow-up to In the Mood For Love shows the aftermath to lust and love, and was my first introduction to falling in love with a gynoid that later found me fall down the rabbit hole from Blade Runner to Battlestar Galactica. While most sequels don’t get the praise they deserve, this explores the feelings of lost and why every romance deserves a sequel.
Blue Valentine, 2010
Looking back, we can see how so many of our relationships are dysfunctional. Like the relationship itself, the film is raw and imperfect.
Eternal Sunshine and the Spotless Mind, 2004
We can erase all social media, but what would it be like to erase someone from our memories? Would you do it? The film is trippy and unpredictable, and you might just find yourself crushing on Jim Carrey by the end.
The One I Love, 2014
If we had the opportunity to change our flawed partners, would you do it? And how much of the flaws are them or us? We see a couple trying to save their marriage on a make or break weekend only to meet their partners’ doppelgangers. I’m surprised how many people haven’t seen this little masterpiece, it will leave you thinking.
Honorable Mentions: Closer, 2004; The First Wives Club, 1996; Marriage Story, 2019; Monster’s Ball, 2002; My Private Idaho, 1991
I Rather Be Single Right Now:
Shortbus, 2006
Imagine not being able to climax? While Shortbus is about people looking to connect, the moral here is you need to really connect with yourself. It’s cute, a bit of a comedy, and has a refreshing approach to sex that is all about being healthy and working out the negative. I never thought I would refer to an orgy as being “cute” or “charming” before.
Showgirls, 1995
I saw this recently on Amazon Prime, post the “me-too” era, and it was like I was seeing a completely different film. Nomi clearly has been a victim, issues to work out, and possibly undiagnosed bi-polar, but that shouldn’t stop her from work and dreams. She also makes a strong point that a dancer, even an erotic one, isn’t necessarily a sex worker, and when she does have sex (the most unforgettable pool sex scene you will ever see), it’s consensual even if the guy does end up to be a bit of a creep. Additionally, fake nails and perm never looked hotter!
The Lobster, 2015
You know the storytelling is good when you believe a sci-fi movie with zero special effects. In the movie, single people are given 45 days to find romantic partners or otherwise be turned into animals. It’s slightly sadistic, but again, so are relationships.
Honorable Mentions: Beginners, 2010; Clueless, 1985; Never on a Sunday, 1960; Sweet Charity, 1969
And finally, here are some short series not to miss if TV is your thing!
Battlestar Galactica (ok, not short but worth the bonding, I got a marriage proposal at the end of the series!)
End of the F***ing World
Falling Onto You
Fleabag Season 2
Never Have I Ever
Normal People
Sex Education
Shrill
